Change is Constant - What is your next dance?

Large companies are absorbed by other large companies and the structure changes. Consequently, you, the employee is skeptical! A lot of questions fly through the air but the acquired company is not yet responding to them and there is no transparency. The CEO's and other top officials do not reveal the next steps. When they do, there is a lot of scrambling and frustration.

Although the employees are not privy to what happens at the top, they often are not prepared for the future either. The employees believe that there is more security by just remaining in place, but they are living in a bubble. Now the bubble has burst and mostly they do not have an alternate plan. What is most unnerving is the thought that in this day and age there is job security. That thought is years old and we live in another generation.

The coast guard have a golden song" Semper Paratus " which translates into "always ready". Employees can take away the thought behind this melody and attach it to their foreheads. We can be influenced by rhetoric and words, but do you believe what you hear? Chances are those influencing you will jump ship and save themselves before you are saved. All the words sound good but is there an action plan or policies that back it up?

Frustration and angry stokes the individual's fire, but what you hear and what is actually taking place is far removed from what is told. Transition and change disturbs anybody's equilibrium, and what you want to say is rarely spoken. Everything is out of balance and where it ends or begins is anybody's guess. This is totally overwhelming and daunting.

How does one keep the old structure and blend in with the new? You don't and the new company researches what is working and what is making revenue. After that study, the new company arranges for their organizational focus which is often the hiring and firing. They hire those with their same philosophy and fire or lay off those who no longer fit their mold. Without all the facts, employees tend to believe the company CEO's are taking drastic steps to make decisions according to their wishes. That is generally far from the truth, although some CEO's believe they are the divine master and forge ahead aimlessly. A team, consisting of the upper echelon, often with months of due diligence, move towards what will make the company stable.

Like dancing, whether it is classical or hip-hop, performance in the marketplace and the value of winning stands out among everything else. If the company is dead set on being profitable, that will be the key to success. The framework requires committed action and energy. Those who are willing and able to fulfill the task of higher quality of service will remain in place, with the knowledge that they must step up to the plate.

Ask yourself if your dance card is full or empty? Remember change is constant.

---

Gloria M. Reiske is an MSW, LCSW with more than thirty years experience in education, administration, social work, and coaching. She has authored many articles and is published in local media, having written a men and grief manual for training purposes throughout Virginia and an article for children and grief.

Is your opinion always right?

Just because you believe you are right, does that make it the only answer. Do you rubber stamp all your responses with indelible ink and try to influence everyone you converse with all the time. A belief system is never so rigid that it cannot be changed.

From heterosexual to homosexual to atheist belief systems, whether you are Democrat or Republican, give the other guy a chance to live his/her own life. The strife that is entailed with so much everyday grief is forever a total waste of energy. Put that energy into helping others and walk beside those who are living the good life. This is not a time to raise your gauntlet, it is time to recognize the goodness in people, whatever their belief system might be.
Years ago, my mother taught me to be accepting and she never interfered in my opinions even though they were not necessarily hers. She loved me unconditionally. The foundation was respect and recognition of everyone's qualities. How many of you can honestly say you do not judge or criticize others?

Your lifestyle may be different than others, but who is to say yours is "Right". The word unconditional is an adjective meaning you don't put restrictions or reservations on loving somebody. Certainly we all criticize others, but do we caste them aside because they do not think the way we do or live their everyday life differently than ours.

Different opinions foster debates and is not abusive? What is real is disagreeing with someone else's opinion but explaining your point of view. Listening to the other individual's opinion and having a mature conversation is versatile and envisions the global picture.

When you believe it is okay to be tolerant, you have taken the first step towards acceptance and respect of someone else's opinion. Opinion is not fact but entirely the opposite. To verbally bully someone into believing the way you do is just plain frustrating and is a serious matter. When you verbally attack someone for having a different opinion you demean yourself as well as the other person.

People are allowed to have an opinion and that applies to you. The next time you get into a heated debate, listen for clues that could change your opinion. If everyone had the same opinion, life would be a very boring place. The truth is you do not have the ONE valid opinion.

---

Gloria M. Reiske is an MSW, LCSW with more than thirty years experience in education, administration, social work, and coaching. She has authored many articles and is published in local media, having written a men and grief manual for training purposes throughout Virginia and an article for children and grief.

Put your ego in your back pocket!

Recently, I have been in the company of egotistical individuals who criticize all those who disagree with their opinions. Since when are they judge and jury for everyone?
Narcissism and egoism fit like gloves and those with these traits are difficult to understand. They believe that they are right and extend their views to those who will follow. No apology or guilt enter their minds because they pound their chests without regard to other individuals opinions. Empathy or listening is a far reach for the egotistical minds.
There is often nothing substantive in their repertoire but a lot of fluff and fury. When asked a direct question, the egotists rarely give a direct answer. The sidestepping is part and parcel of their belief system. Granted some of these individuals are smart but ignorant of other people's values.
Their following is nothing more than what people are thinking but do not take action on because they basically do not lead their lives thinking they are better than others. The arrogance and criticism is a self-esteem issue as big as a boulder. The only way egotists will hear you is if you agree with their disconnected view of the world. Pay attention to what they are actually saying and don't be fooled by their interpretation of what is in reality.
Real people do not talk about what needs to be done, they act on their convictions.  Real people do not have big egos as this is not important to them. What is important is getting to the goal with courage, commitment and caring. People matter and they show their reality through listening, empathy and team work.

When you think you can be the only one who can fix the problems of the world, clearly see the discrepancy in that thought. Throughout history, we know that wars begin with the knowledge that two or more are engaged with their differences. They go to battle and somebody will win, not by narcissistic talk but by diplomatic strategy.
Criticizing every question asked because you do not have the correct answer is ludicrous and self serving. Where is the substance and the educated, historical response? Do you believe everything spoken or written? Sift through your knowledge and admit that you do not have all the answers.

Because someone criticizes your lack of diplomacy and knowledge does not mean that  you are not well versed in what you know. Respect your fellow colleague, friend, family members and stop holding a grudge with everyone. Give yourself time to truly reflect on the important part of your life.
Leave your past behind and put your ego in your back pocket. A new day will begin when you raise your hands and embrace the real you.

Creating your future; values and goals are yours!

Are you thriving or just existing? Have you thought about your values and how you can put them to the best use? Developing from a kernel to a fully popped ear of corn takes a lifetime. It takes a commitment, vision, authenticity, and integrity to develop your creative strengths. It takes your creative priorities in the most satisfying ways to bring you abundant rewards. This a personal and private process and may take a few years. Patience is the virtue that needs to drive you to your goal.

List the top five accomplishments thus far in your life. Be real, truthful and humble and, no embellishments. Now list what you enjoy doing that gives you the greatest satisfaction and energizes you. Your values are the activities, and behaviors that are natural. Create a life that addresses your values, goals and behaviors. What have you been putting off doing or exploring in this lifetime? 

Here are some ideas for your perusal.

• developing hobbies
• planning for your retirement
• more knowledge about business opportunities
• buying property
• having good health

Do a clean sweep of the values that are needless because they will cloud your true values. Unresolved matters tend to clutter up your goals. This is the time to reorient yourself and express your values with a clean slate.

When you are well connected and honestly engaged in attractive endeavors, you are excited and give yourself the room to enhance your life. What values resonant as a value to you - adventure, to create, to discover, to relate, to teach, to win, to have pleasure. Identify your own true values. Choose only values about you, not others.

Choose a project that is aligned with your goals. Do not consider a project in order to get something out of it, but do one that you enjoy. The objective is to have only value based goals. if you have a goal that does not "fit" with your values it is okay to adapt another goal. Remember, you are using your values as a point of reference not a stringent process. Keep it simple and as effortless as possible.

Put yourself on the path to your gift of a lifetime. Be free to indulge in what YOU want to do.

---

Gloria M. Reiske is an MSW, LCSW with more than thirty years experience in education, administration, social work, and coaching. She has authored many articles and is published in local media, having written a men and grief manual for training purposes throughout Virginia and an article for children and grief.

Are you in a dead end job?

Lately I have spoken to professionals who do not like their boss or their job. They are in it for the paycheck and plan to accept what it is for the sake of paying the bills. Granted the job market is not abundant, but there must be something out there that is more gratifying. Question is, have you applied elsewhere or are you content to just occupying a seat that could be deleted tomorrow.

Changing from what you know to something new can be frightening, especially if you are the principal breadwinner. Nevertheless, your children attend school from kindergarten to high school and make frequent changes. Interns become employed individuals. Climbing up the ladder is natural and competitive.

Some enterprising persons develop goals and follow the path to success. They are always learning and indulge in their passion. Enterprising employees do not remain in dead end jobs. Millennials are a perfect example of making a change when they do not see a future in their companies and no chance for advancement.

Some lament that if they had one more degree they could apply for a better job. Unfortunately, they do not take the initial step to go the extra mile to make that come true. In my coaching days, I counseled with men and women who wanted to advance in their career. All they needed were the tools to get the engine started.

Taking a risk means launching into a new job. Staying in a dead end job can be boring and stressful. Weigh the two and think about new ideas, new challenges and take the step that will eventually bring you to the opening of new doors.

Although your work life is important, so is your home life. Doing the same thing day in and day out can be like riding a roller coaster over and over again. Eventually the thrill and excitement is gone and the ride is pointless. If you make changes on the job consider the value you are making for the company. To remain stagnant tells the powers that be they do not need to carry dead weight.

Experience is your calling card to a new job. Look over your resume and update it. A resume tells the interviewer that you are knowledgeable but your interest and enthusiasm also plays a role in the final decision. 

If you think you do not have the tools to compete for a new job, there are many on-line courses that would prepare you. Take advantage of your support system and let them know that you are looking seriously for another job. Believe in yourself and know that someone else will consider your capabilities.